Monthly Archives: January 2013

Patience is a Virtue…

    I like to pride myself on being a pretty patient person. I have no problem waiting quietly with someone who wants to just sit and I have no problem waiting my turn in line. The world has increasingly become a world full of busy, impatient people who complain when there fast food meal takes 2 minutes instead of one. I have attempted to become someone who counteracts that type of lifestyle by waiting my turn and making sure to smile and say “Thank You” to those who are serving me. Sometimes, however, being patient is hard. As I sit here writing, I am trying to wait patiently to hear back from PPM about a job. It’s been a difficult task these past couple weeks because I will admit I get bored easily and I constantly have to have something to do. I have struggled thinking about how I could probably have a job already somewhere and could be working but also knowing that there is something that I should/could be learning right now. Maybe God is trying to teach me something or giving me a break to slow down and wait. He knows what is ahead of me and what I will go through.

    Isaiah 40:31 states “Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary.” Instead of wasting my energy thinking about what I could be doing instead of waiting, I need to trust in God and wait patiently for His next instructions for me. I should do what I can now, during the wait, and trust God with the rest. I have taken the step and I believe that at this moment, God is giving me a time to prepare for the Journey.

Taking the Step…

“The Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. -Lao Tzu”

    I guess the only proper way to start off the New Year is with new blog post. To be completely honest with you, the only reason I got this website and made this blog was for my internship over the summer. As you can tell I have not blogged since then for the simple reason that I am not really a “blogger.” However, I figured I would give it another shot and allow people the opportunity to enter my journey. So buckle up your seat belts and get ready for a wild ride…

    When I left the complex world of blogging I was about to embark on the final semester of my college career. Excitement for the new apartment I was to live in, Joy at the opportunity to see all of my friends again, and Nervousness concerning my final classes were some of the things that were filling my thoughts. As the year began I knew I was in for a wild ride. I had some great classes but I had a little problem called concentration that did not feel like joining me on my journey. It was rough but along with every emotion on the spectrum I made it through and arrived at the other side. It’s hard to believe that the main college portion of my life is officially over. I’m so thankful for what God through me and who he allowed me to meet but its hard to say goodbye.
I don’t particularly like change. Don’t get me wrong, I love to have a good adventure but I always prefer to go right back to normal. Let me let you in on a little secret…Moving from college to the real world is change and the only way to get there is finding a job. This my friends was a challenge. I had an idea of what I wanted to do and no idea at all. As you may know, during my summers I’ve been working with Praying Pelican Missions leading missions trips in a little country called Belize. From the second I joined PPM and traveled to Belize, my heart was no longer my own. I can’t explain it to you and, to be honest, I don’t even understand it myself but when I’m working down there with teams and I’m surrounded by my PPM family I feel home. Seems like a match made in heaven right? It did to me too, until my mind decided to get involved.
    Praying Pelican Missions is my dream job, the only part that was hindering my wanting to join them wholeheartedly was the fact that I had to fund-raise half my salary. When I decided to become a Cross-Cultural Major, I knew that this would be what I was in for and I had accepted it. So, I’m not sure why it decided to hit me so hard and freak me out now but it did. I didn’t know what to do about my job, future, etc. and I began to panic. The only logical thing I could come up with at the time was for ME to make a plan. I was worried about my school loans and paying them on time that I decided I should get a job, save money and pay off loans, and then seek to work full-time with PPM in a couple years. Seems logical nothing too crazy and I still get to work with PPM in two years….a safe plan with no giant steps of faith involved. Well, ladies and gentlemen, let me direct your attention to a little verse found in Proverbs 19:21 “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” I had my plan. I should feel peace and happiness. I knew what I wanted but I was still in a panic….what the heck was going on? I began to talk to friends, professors, family, anybody who would listen because I had no idea what I should do. I guess I should have noticed the hints along the way…I wasn’t doing what was right. I was doing what was safe. I was trusting in myself instead of trusting in God. We had a dinner to celebrate the seniors in the Biblical and Religious Studies department and one of my professors was sitting at my table and as I was talking about my thoughts on joining PPM and my reservations he said “I think you need to have more faith in yourself.” That’s when it hit me. I had plenty of faith in myself but I had lost my faith in God. I knew I could do it but I wasn’t so sure that He could. It was the beginning of finals week at Messiah and I was still struggling with what to do, especially when people kept asking me about my future plans, when all at once I decided to stop. I was tired of trying to figure out what to do on my own. Tired of making excuses about waiting to apply for jobs until I got home. Tired of lying to people knowing full well that I wasn’t applying to others jobs because I wanted to apply to PPM I just didn’t want to trust God to provide the funds. I don’t remember the day or the place (I think I was in my apartment but I’m not sure) but I remember the feeling. Again, its something I can’t explain but the second I decide to take the step of faith, place my school loans and everything in God’s hands I felt overwhelming peace and happiness. I had my answer to my future plans. I don’t know what is going to happen, I don’t know how long it will last but I know who holds my future.

I am starting my journey….